Ocellus is home for spring break. She doesn't like being home. There are memories there. Ones she'd rather not dredge up.
Preread by the fantastic Perfectly Insane!
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 19th May, 2012
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Backflipping through reality at ludicrous speeds. What does RB stand for, anyway? | Ko-Fi
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Joined 19th May, 2012 ·
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A very holesome ending. I’m terrible I know.
FYI, they're known as elytra.
Thank you for the fic it was quite enjoyable.
So, regarding the final chapter, I felt it was highly reminiscent of Raul Menendez's suicide via self-immolation in one of the endings of Black Ops 2. In the game, it was a poignant ending for a character deeply motivated by passionate emotions of love and wrath. Now, look, here's the thing: for this story, I like the concept, but the story was just so incredibly rushed. It's only 4000 words. There was no room for foreshadowing or appropriate rising of suspense. We understand what Ocellus was feeling, but there's not enough information focused around the why.
Also, perhaps the most confusing part of the story, who was the changeling who attacked her? If he knew she was dangerous or a threat, how did he know, and why did he opt for violence as the only way to rectify the situation? If I recall correctly, he didn't even attempt to speak with her to settle their differences, he just automatically resorted to the most drastic and, frankly, excessive, action.
Also, a final remark: I really liked the concept of Ocellus morphing her hoof into a spike that she used as a weapon. Super cool. Had the same badass energy as Revenant from Apex Legends merging his mechanical fingers into one long spike that he uses to shank people. However, I feel the violence, even if it was badass, was completely unnecessary. Without the proper buildup, it feels very abrupt and out of place. It's not foreshadowed Ocellus is a violent individual, she just kind of does that out of instinct. Perhaps it was Chrysalis somehow magically influencing her, but that was not made clear.